he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
