is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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