I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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