i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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