I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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