Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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