apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize