The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
