Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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