You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
