I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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