he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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