And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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