Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
time to smoke my breakfast
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
