That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
