She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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