Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
