Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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