he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
