The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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