i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
