just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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