is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
