3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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