she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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