Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
