If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
accomplished twins. life is a go
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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