Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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