Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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