Redeem this text for a blowjob
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
