apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
