my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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