Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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