As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize