Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
