are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
