No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize