Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
