i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
