i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
