I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
