I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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