pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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