white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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