I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
