I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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