you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Holy shit dude........stairs
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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