He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
