i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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