Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
