I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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