I wannas sexs uuuuu
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
