Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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