I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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