You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
