If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
