On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
