my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
