i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
